Dr. Tina Payne Bryson speaks with Discovery Child Development Center about the new book she has co-written with Dr. Dan Siegel, The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child.

Topics discussed include:
* Fundamentals of the Yes Brain
* Teaching children to recognize their emotions
* Supporting children through challenging situations
* Handling disappointment
* Perspective taking and empathy

Notes from the Interview

The Yes Brain vs No Brain

• The book is not about always saying yes to a child

• 2 states in which brains and nervous systems are in

• Our bodies can respond to how we are feeling before we are aware of it

• The brain is either in reactive mode - No Brain

• Receptive or open state - Yes Brain

• As parents we can be yes brain or no brain parents

• The way we communicate with children shapes their brain

• Yes brains are resilient, creative and curious

• They can handle disappointments, whereas a no brain can be rigid or shutdown, anxious, afraid to try new things

Pillars of Success

• Society has emphasis on achievement as success

• Some children achieve, but do not have an internal compass

• BRIE - BALANCE RESILIANCE INSIGHT EMPATHY

• Need emotional regulation, or balance to stay in the “green zone”

• Parents need to try to remain in the green zone themselves

• Do not want to bubble wrap kids

• If we want children to be resilient, they need to practice things that are difficult

• With support, we can help build their emotional muscle

• Can then have empathy for others who are going through a tough time

Pushin' vs. Cushion

• We want to push to expand capacity

• If we push too far though, nervous system will be stressed and send them into reactivate state

• This leads to more constriction in capacity

• They will have bigger green zone as they grow up

• Track how they are doing

• With support can I keep the child in the green zone?

• Key is how much support and cushion we will give them ex. Let’s take 3 steps closer or stay for just 5 minutes

• Provide scaffolding

• If they are a little comfortable, but you are there with them, they will learn to tolerate being uncomfortable and that helps change their brain

Becoming Aware of Feelings

• Reactive feelings are not always a choice

• Give children the language and words for their feelings

• Teach them strategies for when they are feeling big emotions they have difficulty handling

• We can teach children about their brain

• Can teach breathing strategies

• We can teach children about green and red zone

• Reactive behavior is not necessarily a child’s choice, they are communicating they are not in control and need help and support

• When children are acting reactively, they need support and empathy. Ex. I see you are having a hard time, how can I help you calm down?

Additional Strategies

• Adults need to take care of themselves ex. sleep, finding time for our selves

• Trying to keep ourselves in the green zone as much as we can

• When you make a mistake as a parent, it is an opportunity to talk about it with your child and learn from it

• Showing how to repair a relationship is important

• Children need to learn that sometimes relationships have ruptures, but there are ways to fix them

• Teach empathy when another child is having a hard time

• Can ask them what they think is the cause of that behavior

• Show them empathy when they need it

Show and Tell

• Be present

• Allow child to express feelings

• Take care of ourselves so we can stay in the green zone