Click on the arrow icon beside each category to display or hide all items within the chosen category. Summaries of each page may be hidden or shown by clicking the plus icon next each item. Use the Options menu to expand or contract all items, display or hide summaries or sort the table of contents.

Table of Contents

Blog Posts

• Category: The Brain  (30)
  • On Spanking: Hoping for a More Sophisticated Discussion 

    Last week Dr. Drew Pinsky asked me to come on his show “Life Changers” to discuss spanking as a discipline approach.  I ended up getting to say only a…

  • Why We Should NOT Ignore a Tantrum -- or -- Where NPR’s Health Blog Missed the Boat 

    Several people have asked me recently about Shankar Vendantam’s post on NPR’s Health Blog, where he writes about a subject I’ve discussed a good bit:…

  • Worried about Worrying? Discussing Childhood Anxiety on THE INTENTIONAL PARENT 

    Here's a recent episode from my new web-based parenting show, "The Intentional Parent." This episode features the amazing Dr. Andre Van Rooyen.

  • A Different Take on Spoiling 

    The other day a reporter asked me to respond to a few questions about spoiling, and what it means for our kids. With the holidays coming up, this seems like a…

  • The Whole-Brain Child: The Opening Pages 

    The moments you are just trying to survive are actually opportunities to help your child thrive. At times you may feel that the loving, important moments…

  • Surfing the Waves of an Emotional Tsunami: When Your Kid’s Upset, Connect and Redirect 

    Logic will do no good in a case like this until a child's right brain is responded to. You probably already know that your brain is divided into two…

  • Increase the Family Fun Factor: Making a Point to Enjoy One Another 

    Do you ever feel like you’re spending most of your time disciplining your kids and carting them from one activity to the next, and not enough time just…

  • Ten Bites of a Quesadilla: Transforming Moments through Creative Discipline 

    Creativity allows us to transform a battle and a disconnection into an opportunity to bond, to play, to teach, and even to develop the higher parts of our…

  • Five Reasons I’m Not a Fan of Time Outs 

    More and more, I find myself questioning time outs as an effective discipline strategy.  I’ve written some about this already, but now I’d like to go into…

  • If I Could Tell You Only One Thing about Discipline 

    Discipline is a complex and complicated subject.  I could write a whole book about it.  In fact, I’ve already started working on one. But when we talk…

  • Upstairs and Downstairs Tantrums 

    Summary Bullets: A child’s tantrum may originate in the upstairs brain, meaning the child is in control and is using the moment to intentionally achieve…

  • When a Parenting Expert Loses It: How NOT to Discipline a Preschooler 

    Here are some things parents say to me about their discipline frustrations: --I feel like I just put my daughter in time out all the time and don’t know…

  • To Sticker or Not to Sticker 

    One question I get asked from time to time is how I feel about using rewards and incentives to motivate kids to do what we want them to do.  You know the…

  • If I Had Bad Parents, Will I Be a Bad Parent, Too? 

    Has the above question ever crossed your mind?  Dan Siegel and I respond in a new article published in the PBS series "This Emotional Life."  Check it out…

  • I Like to Move It Move It! (revised) 

    We tend to think that our emotions reside in our brain.  And they do, but they also can begin with our bodies.  In fact, by the time you realize that…

  • Mom, I Know What I'm Doing 

    Yesterday my eight-year-old was making a smoothie.   He’s been making one every day for the last week and now takes pride in his “smoothie-making…

  • Welcome! 

      THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD is a bestseller!  I'm excited to let you know that my new book, co-authored with Dan Siegel and published by Random…

  • The Power of Touch 

    Did you know that a loving touch, like a hand on our arm or a warm embrace, releases feel-good hormones (like oxytocin and opiods) into our brain and body, and…

  • Is There a Good Way to Respond to a Tantrum? 

    As a mom with three boys, who are three, six, and nine years old, my experience has been that ages three and four are the hardest ages (so far.)  The parts of…

  • When Your Sweet Child Suddenly Becomes Difficult 

    Renowned pediatrician Berry Brazelton explains that when a child has a new developmental spurt, they often lose some of their current abilities while they…

  • Cutting Our Kids (and Ourselves) Some Slack 

    Try to remember that your child’s brain is still under construction.  They can’t be perfect all the time, yet without realizing it, we often expect…

  • Talking To Your Kids About the Brain: Upstairs and Downstairs 

    One thing I’ve learned over the last few years is that even young children are capable of understanding some important basics about the way their brain…

  • I like to move it, move it 

    We tend to think that our emotions reside in our brain. And they do, but they also spring from our bodies. In fact, when you realize that you’re anxious,…

  • From Black and White to Technicolor: Helping Your Child Express A Wide Range of Feelings 

    Making a child aware of the emotional rainbow that exists within them is one of the best ways to help connect the left and right hemispheres of their brain.…

  • Ask Tina: Am I Spoiling My Baby? 

    spoiling, spoiling a baby

  • What's REALLY Causing Your Frustration Towards Your Kids? 

    Do you ever get so upset with your kids that you do something that leaves you (and the rest of the family) asking, "Where did that come from?" At times we’re…

  • Common Discipline Mistakes Even the Best Parents Make: Part 1 

    Because we’re always parenting our children, it takes real effort to look at our discipline strategies objectively. Good intentions can become less-than-effe…

  • The Parenting Hall of Shame: Now Accepting Members 

    We all lose it from time to time. We say mean things, we yell, we may even pull our child’s arm too firmly. Why don't we talk about moments like these with…

  • The Teen Brain 

    The teenage brain is growing and changing, leading to problems with teenagers. Learning about the adolescent brain helps you parent teens better.

  • Understanding What Your Child is Really Saying 

    Sometimes we act like we only speak and understand left-hemisphere-ese. But we’re missing at least half of the message when we ignore the right-hemisphere-ese…

• Category: Parenting  (71)
  • On Spanking: Hoping for a More Sophisticated Discussion 

    Last week Dr. Drew Pinsky asked me to come on his show “Life Changers” to discuss spanking as a discipline approach.  I ended up getting to say only a…

  • Knowledge, Instinct, and Self-Understanding: Basic Parenting Tips 

    There’s plenty of advice available on parenting, but there's no one Parenting Rulebook that answers all parenting questions.  In fact, it's helpful to have…

  • Why We Should NOT Ignore a Tantrum -- or -- Where NPR’s Health Blog Missed the Boat 

    Several people have asked me recently about Shankar Vendantam’s post on NPR’s Health Blog, where he writes about a subject I’ve discussed a good bit:…

  • Empowering our Children against Sexual Abuse 

    The holidays can be such a fun time with our kids.  We build memories, create rituals, focus on what's most meaningful.  Sexual abuse prevention and the…

  • Worried about Worrying? Discussing Childhood Anxiety on THE INTENTIONAL PARENT 

    Here's a recent episode from my new web-based parenting show, "The Intentional Parent." This episode features the amazing Dr. Andre Van Rooyen.

  • A Different Take on Spoiling 

    The other day a reporter asked me to respond to a few questions about spoiling, and what it means for our kids. With the holidays coming up, this seems like a…

  • Beyond “How was your day?” – Getting Your Kids to Talk After School 

    It’s a classic parenting dilemma, isn’t it?  How do we get our kids to talk to us? The conversation itself is even more cliché: --How was your…

  • How Much Am I Screwing Up My Kids When I Don’t Handle Myself Well? 

    How well do you handle yourself when you’re upset with your kids? Me?  Sometimes I respond extremely well, making myself proud of how loving and…

  • Proactive Parenting: Getting Ahead of the Discipline Curve 

    When your kids misbehave, your immediate reaction may be to offer consequences with both guns blazing. You hit your sister? That’s a time out.  You…

  • The Whole-Brain Child: The Opening Pages 

    The moments you are just trying to survive are actually opportunities to help your child thrive. At times you may feel that the loving, important moments…

  • Surfing the Waves of an Emotional Tsunami: When Your Kid’s Upset, Connect and Redirect 

    Logic will do no good in a case like this until a child's right brain is responded to. You probably already know that your brain is divided into two…

  • Increase the Family Fun Factor: Making a Point to Enjoy One Another 

    Do you ever feel like you’re spending most of your time disciplining your kids and carting them from one activity to the next, and not enough time just…

  • Ten Bites of a Quesadilla: Transforming Moments through Creative Discipline 

    Creativity allows us to transform a battle and a disconnection into an opportunity to bond, to play, to teach, and even to develop the higher parts of our…

  • Five Reasons I’m Not a Fan of Time Outs 

    More and more, I find myself questioning time outs as an effective discipline strategy.  I’ve written some about this already, but now I’d like to go into…

  • It’s Not Just the What but the How . . . 

    What we say to our kids is important, right?  The words we choose play a big role as children construct their beliefs about themselves, establish a foundation…

  • If I Could Tell You Only One Thing about Discipline 

    Discipline is a complex and complicated subject.  I could write a whole book about it.  In fact, I’ve already started working on one. But when we talk…

  • Upstairs and Downstairs Tantrums 

    Summary Bullets: A child’s tantrum may originate in the upstairs brain, meaning the child is in control and is using the moment to intentionally achieve…

  • Is Over-Scheduling Really a Problem for Kids? 

    People talk a lot about the dangers of the over-scheduled child.  Kids doing too many activities become tired and grumpy.  They don’t have time to spend…

  • When a Parenting Expert Loses It: How NOT to Discipline a Preschooler 

    Here are some things parents say to me about their discipline frustrations: --I feel like I just put my daughter in time out all the time and don’t know…

  • To Sticker or Not to Sticker 

    One question I get asked from time to time is how I feel about using rewards and incentives to motivate kids to do what we want them to do.  You know the…

  • If I Had Bad Parents, Will I Be a Bad Parent, Too? 

    Has the above question ever crossed your mind?  Dan Siegel and I respond in a new article published in the PBS series "This Emotional Life."  Check it out…

  • Does Your Discipline Ever Move From Consistent to Rigid? 

    There’s no question about it:  consistency is crucial when it comes to raising and disciplining our children.  Many parents I see in my office realize that…

  • Give Your Toddler or Preschooler a Little Power (revised) 

    Toddlers and preschoolers see their grown-ups and older siblings doing everything so easily.  It can be frustrating and discouraging for these little ones to…

  • I Like to Move It Move It! (revised) 

    We tend to think that our emotions reside in our brain.  And they do, but they also can begin with our bodies.  In fact, by the time you realize that…

  • Should You Spy on Your Teenager? 

    An essential part of parenting is keeping your kids safe and helping them make good decisions. Your strong instincts to protect your teens from making bad…

  • Magic Wand? Yeah, right. (Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do when your child is upset.) 

    One day my seven-year-old became furious with me because I told him he couldn’t invite a friend over to play.  He stormed off to his room and slammed the…

  • Mom, I Know What I'm Doing 

    Yesterday my eight-year-old was making a smoothie.   He’s been making one every day for the last week and now takes pride in his “smoothie-making…

  • Do You Discipline on Auto-Pilot? (revised) 

    Auto-pilot may be a great tool when you’re flying a plane.  Just flip the switch, sit back and relax, and let the computer take you where it’s been…

  • Welcome! 

      THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD is a bestseller!  I'm excited to let you know that my new book, co-authored with Dan Siegel and published by Random…

  • A Quick Tip for Helping Your Kids Eat Healthy 

    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI8XronQAzk

  • Ask Tina: How can I get my daughter to do what I ask the first time I ask her? 

    Q:  Tina, do you have any suggestions for getting my daughter to do what I ask the first time or to help me not have to repeat myself over and over? A: …

  • The Power of Touch 

    Did you know that a loving touch, like a hand on our arm or a warm embrace, releases feel-good hormones (like oxytocin and opiods) into our brain and body, and…

  • Is There a Good Way to Respond to a Tantrum? 

    As a mom with three boys, who are three, six, and nine years old, my experience has been that ages three and four are the hardest ages (so far.)  The parts of…

  • Ask Tina: My Child is Lying to Me. How Worried Should I Be? 

    Q:  My almost-five-year-old son is starting to lie.  I’m worried that this is starting a terrible pattern, and I don’t know how to handle the situation. …

  • When Your Sweet Child Suddenly Becomes Difficult 

    Renowned pediatrician Berry Brazelton explains that when a child has a new developmental spurt, they often lose some of their current abilities while they…

  • Give Preschoolers a Little Power 

    Toddlers and preschoolers see their grown-ups and older siblings doing everything so easily. It can be frustrating and sad to try and try, and not be able to…

  • Cutting Our Kids (and Ourselves) Some Slack 

    Try to remember that your child’s brain is still under construction.  They can’t be perfect all the time, yet without realizing it, we often expect…

  • Ask Tina: Should I Give My Daughter Time-Outs? 

    In this video, Tina responds to a question about time-outs. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zY3Qf2peOc

  • Talking To Your Kids About the Brain: Upstairs and Downstairs 

    One thing I’ve learned over the last few years is that even young children are capable of understanding some important basics about the way their brain…

  • Do You Rescue Your Child Too Much? 

    Resist the temptation to rescue your children every time they struggle.  Struggling a little bit, and having to learn to deal with difficult situations and…

  • I like to move it, move it 

    We tend to think that our emotions reside in our brain. And they do, but they also spring from our bodies. In fact, when you realize that you’re anxious,…

  • Coping with Stillbirth Loss 

    It can be absolutely devastating to lose a baby.  The dreams and excitement of months and even years are dashed, leaving you with feelings of loss and…

  • From Black and White to Technicolor: Helping Your Child Express A Wide Range of Feelings 

    Making a child aware of the emotional rainbow that exists within them is one of the best ways to help connect the left and right hemispheres of their brain.…

  • Do You Do New Years Resolutions With Your Kids? 

    As the new year begins, reflect on what your vision is for yourself and for your family. What’s been working? What isn't working and needs an overhaul?

  • Sick of Time-Outs? 

      There are far worse discipline tactics than time-outs, but I think that there are some alternatives that can be better in certain situations. …

  • Do You Discipline on Auto-Pilot? 

    When your child needs to be disciplined, how do you decide what to do?  Do you decide, or are you just going with what you always do?  Are you disciplining…

  • Be Thoughtful About How You Gush 

    The way you praise your child influences what theories they have about themselves.  Stanford professor Carol Dweck has done some very interesting research…

  • Fairness: A Parenting Tip 

    “That’s not fair!” How often do you hear it? If your kids are anything like mine, you hear it a lot. One day I got sick of telling them that “Life…

  • Ask Tina: Friend vs. Authority Figure 

    Q:  Is it really true that I should be an authority figure and not a friend to my daughter? A:  I hear this idea sometimes, too.  Something along…

  • Domestic Violence and Girls - What you should teach your daughter 

    Many parents never talk to their daughters about domestic violence and partner abuse. Why not? For some, it’s because they don’t think it could happen.…

  • Ask Tina: Am I Spoiling My Baby? 

    spoiling, spoiling a baby

  • Preventing Sexual Abuse: It’s Time to Start Talking 

    parenting advice, sexual abuse, talking to kids about sex,

  • Teen Rebellion: How to Respond and Cope 

    Mark Twain is said to have advised that when a child turns 13, his parents should put him in a barrel, close the lid, and feed him through a hole in the side.…

  • Help! My Child Has Anger Issues 

    To be so little, children sure can experience big emotions, can’t they? And anger is often the biggest emotion of all. Even the youngest find ways to let…

  • Fostering an Attitude of Gratitude: Helping your Child be Thankful 

    Kids can be self-centered. It’s normal for them to think first about themselves, despite all of our efforts to help them be more empathetic or appreciative. …

  • Taboo Subjects: Are There Topics You Should Avoid with Your Kids? 

    Sometimes we aren’t sure if and when we should talk to our kids about something. For many parents, subjects related to sexuality, race, and other uncomfortabl…

  • Common Discipline Mistakes Made by Even the Best Parents: Part 2 

    Here are more discipline mistakes made by even the best-intending, most well-informed parents, along with practical suggestions that might come in handy…

  • What's REALLY Causing Your Frustration Towards Your Kids? 

    Do you ever get so upset with your kids that you do something that leaves you (and the rest of the family) asking, "Where did that come from?" At times we’re…

  • What Do I Do With My Kids This Summer? 

    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYcn9_r1zSw

  • The Article I Didn’t Write 

    For those of us who are task-oriented, it can be frustrating to take care of kids because most days, we rarely get things done. As I sigh deeply on the way to…

  • Common Discipline Mistakes Even the Best Parents Make: Part 1 

    Because we’re always parenting our children, it takes real effort to look at our discipline strategies objectively. Good intentions can become less-than-effe…

  • The Parenting Hall of Shame: Now Accepting Members 

    We all lose it from time to time. We say mean things, we yell, we may even pull our child’s arm too firmly. Why don't we talk about moments like these with…

  • The Teen Brain 

    The teenage brain is growing and changing, leading to problems with teenagers. Learning about the adolescent brain helps you parent teens better.

  • Do your kids tune you out? 

    Do you find yourself repeating something over and over? Funny how our kids can tune us out so easily and so consistently. My best suggestion is to stop what…

  • Follow up: When you DO fight in front of your kids 

    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EMDbdw_EtA (Thanks, Helen.)

  • Should we fight in front of the kids? 

    What do you do when you and your spouse or partner experience conflict, and the kids are right there? Do you argue in front of the kids?

  • Teaching Kids to Wait 

    Using short waiting times and reinforcing the behavior of “waiting” by then giving them what they’ve been waiting for right then and there, and then…

  • Look with new eyes 

    Today, I want to challenge you to watch your children with new eyes. Look at them as the marvelous creations they are. You can even try to observe…

  • What Spoils Your Delight? 

    What our children really want most and need most from us is to fully be present with them and to delight in them. What gets in your way of being fully…

  • Understanding What Your Child is Really Saying 

    Sometimes we act like we only speak and understand left-hemisphere-ese. But we’re missing at least half of the message when we ignore the right-hemisphere-ese…

  • Setting boundaries AND connecting emotionally 

    One thing that isn’t on the notes that we discussed is the importance of boundaries and consequences. It’s important for us to remember that…

• Category: FKQ (Funny Kid Quote)  (9)
  • Do You Do New Years Resolutions With Your Kids? 

    As the new year begins, reflect on what your vision is for yourself and for your family. What’s been working? What isn't working and needs an overhaul?

  • FKQ -- On B-I-N-G-O 

    When Tina's family was keeping their neighbor's dog, Ella, Tina had the following conversation with her 2YO, who insisted on calling the dog Bingo. --What's…

  • FKQ--On sharing toys 

    Tina, to her 3YO:  "Henry's coming over today.  Will you share your toys with him?" The response:  "How 'bout, I can play with my toys, and Henry can…

  • FKQ--On big toilets 

    When Andrew, the friend of Tina's 3YO, mentioned that his dog had died, Tina's son commiserated by telling Andrew that his two fish, Gitchigumee and Pirate…

  • FKQ--On puppies and compassion 

    A conversation between Tina’s 3YO and his father, about their young puppy: –Son, you need to be gentle with Moby. –But Dad, it’s just so fun to…

  • FKQ--On poo-nis 

    "Mom, if pee comes from my penis, does poo come from my poo-nis?" --BP's 5YO nephew

  • FKQ–On divine inspiration 

    "Mom, I'm one of only two boys in all of kindergarten who can arm fart." "Oh really?  Is that special?" "Yes, arm farting is a gift from God." --CH's…

  • FKQ–On John, Paul, George, and park critters 

    “Is this song so kids won’t bother squirrels?” --question asked by Tina's 3YO while listening to The Beatles' "Let it Be"

  • FKQ--On totem poles 

    “Henry brought back a totem pole from Hawaii and we all rubbed it for good luck at preschool today. But it wasn’t so lucky because Stevie pushed…

• Category: Ask Tina  (5)
  • Ask Tina: How can I get my daughter to do what I ask the first time I ask her? 

    Q:  Tina, do you have any suggestions for getting my daughter to do what I ask the first time or to help me not have to repeat myself over and over? A: …

  • Ask Tina: My Child is Lying to Me. How Worried Should I Be? 

    Q:  My almost-five-year-old son is starting to lie.  I’m worried that this is starting a terrible pattern, and I don’t know how to handle the situation. …

  • Ask Tina: Should I Give My Daughter Time-Outs? 

    In this video, Tina responds to a question about time-outs. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zY3Qf2peOc

  • Ask Tina: Friend vs. Authority Figure 

    Q:  Is it really true that I should be an authority figure and not a friend to my daughter? A:  I hear this idea sometimes, too.  Something along…

  • Ask Tina: Am I Spoiling My Baby? 

    spoiling, spoiling a baby

Generated by Table of Contents Creator v1.6.4.1
by Mark Beljaars